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Famous Captain

Once upon a time there was a famous sea captain. This captain was very successful at what he did; for years he guided merchant ships all over the world.

Never did stormy seas or pirates get the best of him. He was admired by his crew and fellow captains. However, there was one thing different about this captain. Every morning he went through a strange ritual. He would lock himself in his captain’s quarters and open a small safe. In the safe was an envelope with a piece of paper inside. He would stare at the paper for a minute and then lock it back up. After that, he would go about his daily duties.

For years this went on, and his crew became very curious. Was it a treasure map? Was it a letter from a long lost love? Everyone speculated about the contents of the strange envelope.

One day the captain died at sea. After laying the captain’s body to rest, the first mate led the entire crew into the captain’s quarters. He opened the safe, got the envelope, opened it and… The first mate turned pale and showed the paper to the others.

Four words were on the paper, two on two lines:

Port Left

Starboard Right

 

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Radio Conversation

…many of you have probably heard various versions of this story; still it is a good one, so here it is…

 

This is the actual transcript of a radio conversation between a British Navy ship and the Irish Coastguard, off the coast of Kerry:

Irish: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the south, to avoid collision

British: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the north, to avoid collision

Irish: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid collision

British. This is the Captain of a British Navy Ship. I say again, diver YOUR course

Irish. Negative. I say again, you will have to divert YOUR course

British. THIS IS THE LARGEST SHIP IN THE BRITISH FEEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY 3 DESTROYERS, 3 CRUISERS, AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT SHIPS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES TO THE NORTH, OR COUNTERMEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS FLOTILLA

Irish. THIS IS A LIGHTHOUSE…… YOUR CALL